The Art of Dialogue (2)
Dialogue cannot exist on its own in a story. Obvious that may be however quite often there will be an interchange between two characters that leaves the reader baffled as to what is really going on.
How to get over this. One way would be to get into the head of the viewpoint character (the person who is doing the narrating) and describe to the readers not only what he is feeling/thinking but also what he is seeing, smelling etc.
Of course there will be many situations where the circumstances the characters are in are quite simple so a straightforward dialogue will be sufficient.
Here’s an example of a dialogue that needs expansion in order for it to make sense.
‘It’s time we went home,’ John said.
‘Why now?’ Sue asked.
‘Because, I say so.’
‘But I want to stay!’
‘Just put your coat on.’
The above dialogue is flat and does not really give a clue as to what might be really going on.
Here is how it could be improved using Sue as the viewpoint character.
‘It’s time we went home.’ John said.
Sue looked at him and her heart sank. He was in one of his moods again. Just because he was not enjoying himself at the party, she must not enjoy herself either. But this time she was going to stand up to him.
‘But I want to stay!’ John just looked at her with a blank expression. He grabbed her wrist hard and then let it go.
‘Just put your coat on.’ His voice was calm, deadly calm. Sue knew that voice only too well.
And here it is from John’s POV
John’s headache was not getting any better. Why should it, it never did when he started feeling tense and the music at the party was now becoming a cacophony of sounds.
He looked at Sue. Sue enjoying herself. Sue dancing with other men. Sue being Sue. No, he was not having this.
‘It’s time we went home,’ he said.
‘But I want to stay!’ He saw the flash of defiance in her eyes. I bet you do, he thought. Never mind that I have a headache.
He grabbed her wrist hard and then quickly let go. He didn’t want any marks to show.
‘Just put your coat on.’ He kept his voice level just in case someone else was in earshot.
Like so many things in writing and revision it is a matter of judgement as to what approach to use.
Any comments/feedback are greatly appreciated as it keeps me motivated. All feedback whether positive or negative helps me.